On the Contrary

This will be a hard blog for me to write.  It drags up emotions I don’t want to confront, the loss of one of your children.  Friends of ours are facing that reality this morning when their daughter, Brooke Colvin, was killed Wednesday in a freak accident on Mount Hood (Clakamas County News).  I did not know Brooke well, but I know a kind, gentle, beautiful soul when I see one, and she was so full of life and its possibilities.  The ending of her life is a loss of profound depth to her husband, her family and all those that loved her.

Now the question is what can I do to help those that really can’t be helped.  If I learned anything from the loss of my own daughter, there are no words.  Some try to make sense out of this loss.  I won’t go there.  If someone in their own grief can find some solace wherever they can, then please give them that relief. I know what it is like to wake up in the morning and have that emptiness in your heart and know your world has changed forever.   It is just hard to accept that some times bad things happen to good people.

I remember some of the things people said to try to console me, and I know it came from the kindness of their hearts, but I wished they would have just changed the subject.  I never knew what to say back.  I guess it was just nice that they cared.  But then maybe other people aren’t like me.  Maybe all the activity generated by caring friends was the distraction one needs not to be swallowed up by our own grief.

There are many things that cross my mind that one might say or do to help.  She definitely lived her life to the fullest.  She was loved by everyone who knew her.  She brightened the lives of many, many people.  Her life made a difference.  She truly was a beautiful person.  Yet in the end, there is just that emptiness that just won’t go away.  I guess I could tell them that it does get better after awhile, tolerable anyway.  But then I know none of that makes any difference right now.  Maybe the only thing I can offer is that we have the family in our thoughts and we will be there to help to do whatever we can do.  But I know deep in my heart, nothing helps.  It is just going to take a long, long time.  And then I am always conflicted by whether what I am doing is to help them or me.  I guess we all just do what we can and hope it helps.

So long Brooke.  You made such a huge impact on so many lives.  Dennis, Robby, Thad, Jed, Sara, Matt, you are in our thoughts.  I am sorry.  It is all I know how to do.